Doubt, Heart Strings

No Doubt

Doubt courtesy of Kai Stachowiak
Courtesy of Kai Sachowiak

No matter who you are you go through times of doubt in your walk with Jesus.  It can be a place where we get stuck.  Where we doubt His love for us and His promises.  Maybe because we are going through something so earth shattering.  Like recently my 15-year-old daughter began having seizures and she spent three days in the Pediatric Intensive Care unit at a Christian Hospital.

Those three days felt more like a week. I was physically, mentally, and emotionally drained.   I was like Moses on the top of the hill with my staff.  I needed Aaron and Hur.

10 So Joshua did what Moses had commanded and fought the army of Amalek. Meanwhile, Moses, Aaron, and Hur climbed to the top of a nearby hill. 11 As long as Moses held up the staff in his hand, the Israelites had the advantage. But whenever he dropped his hand, the Amalekites gained the advantage. 12 Moses’ arms soon became so tired he could no longer hold them up. So Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on. Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands. So his hands held steady until sunset. 13 As a result, Joshua overwhelmed the army of Amalek in battle.  

                                                                                                                      Exodus 17:10-13

I had no strength to hold my arms up.  I couldn’t pray.  I didn’t know how or where to start.  I knew the promises of God, but watching her have seizures made me doubt them.  I wanted to know where God was during that time.  So I depended on my church family’s prayers, and several other churches and people who were praying for her.  As well as the wonderful caregiving staff.

Then I found a coloring book in the gift shop.  It was a KJV scripture coloring book.  She and I both loved it.  It reminded us of God’s word.  And helped us breathe.

Finally, the doctor diagnosed her with principle seizure disorder.  She only has seizures in her sleep.  We came home and she only had one more.  Now her medicine has them under control and the haze of doubt has moved on.

You don’t have to have something earth shattering to happen to be faced with doubt.  You could just be completely exhausted and find yourself wondering where God is.  No matter the situation here is a song that reminds me of God’s love when I am faced with doubt.  I pray it blesses you as it has me.

Shalom,

❤ Melinda

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