How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Psalm 13:2 NIV
Numb
I am not feeling at all right now which is pretty good. Because numb is the best feeling in the world to me sometimes. I’d just rather not feel at all then feel the pain I feel during this healing season of my life. The numbness is a front which manages my emotions. It is a mechanism my mind created at an early age due to trauma.
No Longer
But all of this numbness has lately been reading the spectacular emotional roller coaster ride of the Psalms. God has been shaking me awake to being aware of the desire to remain numb. And that this is just a protective device I don’t need any longer. An unhealthy way of coping. So in return I have decided to give the Lord feeling. Allow Him to touch and hold the pain and the hurt. Allow Him to apply the balm of Gilead to my heart and wounds. Let the walls fall down slowly. To be built again like they rebuilt the wall in Nehemiah. Guarding my heart His way which I’ll get to next time.
Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
Proverbs 4:23 NIV
I am linking up with Coffee for your heart so click below and come on over for something warm for the soul.
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Published by Melinda
Really y’all I’m just another Samaritan woman seeking living water and pouring out where I see need for encouragement. I am 48, mother to four girls ages 16-26, Gigi to the most handsome 2-year-old little boy, Fibromyalgia warrior, minister, writer, and a lifetime learner.
I am writing my first book, slowly but surely, six chapters in, as our blessed first love has called me to share His glory in my story. I feel lost in that familiar desert place, and thankful for the manna that is there miraculously every day. I am overcoming hour by hour the condemning voices of the enemy and learning to love myself. It has been an arduous journey. This wordsmith journey, but so worth it.
I became a licensed minister in 2010. However, I do not currently work in the ministry. I share Christ's love through devotional blogging. I have a degree in Church Ministry, was pursuing my degree in Christian Care and Counseling at Oral Roberts University, but now am pursuing Life Coaching, and Neurolinguistic Programming Master Practioner Certifications and a business license.
I am a certified women’s biblical counselor through the Extraordinary Women's program at Light University. I am working on their Addiction and Recovery program now too. Yes, I am a glutton for punishment with a wealth of life experiences with which I can minister comfort to others.
I'm a lover of a good book, writing, singing, and music, and my nemesis is the perpetual laundry pile.
Blessings to you and yours,
<3Melinda
View all posts by Melinda
Another Samaritan Woman 
Melinda,
Thanks for letting me know you were my neighbor at Holley’s so I could visit you. Healing is hard and holy work. I pray God continues to pour out his Spirit of comfort on you. He can be trusted with our heart and our feelings. It took me a long time to learn it and I’m still learning it in deeper ways…and God is patient. (Deut. 31:8)…Thank you for sharing your heart.