6 to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved. Ephesians 1:6 NKJV
I open the blogging platform. I write a few notes before I forget the post. Knowing me I will not remember this later. That’s how I know these grace words come through me, not from me. I want to save the draft. Three sips into my cup of coffee and I hit publish.
So I frantically delete the post, the tweet, the Facebook posts, and search LinkedIn in for the link. Embarrassed. Wondering what my readers will think when they receive the empty post in their inbox. Doh! Epic Monday morning fail? Nope Tuesday!
Then the computer loses its charge. I think, “How will I ever get my work done now?” I plug it in and set it reluctantly on the desk in the media room. Kids playing loudly remind me i have two chapters to read that are like “neventy-fleven” pages long.
So I pad back to my room where there are filtering walls.
I decide I need some inspiration. Everything I read becomes a critique of me. I compare myself with the obvious genius of the writer. Wondering when I will write like them. Thinking my computer is now charged I retrieve it to begin again.
I decide I would like to email my subscribers, but since I am now self hosting I don’t remember how to find their information.
“Ugh.” I tell myself, “How in the world can you forget that? ”
I download the email plugin, write the email, and no addresses are available to send it.
I spend what seems like forever looking seemingly having only one subscriber. What? That’s not possible. I know my man and I both subscribe. Ahem. I raise the white flag.
So I give up that idea, and write a post that feels like each word is literally being tugged from my chest. The computer dies again. So I plug it in and grab some lunch.
Siskel and Ebert begin storming the recesses of my mind. “You call yourself a blogger and writer? Ha, you don’t even have subscribers,” they hiss. “You’re a fake, a phony, and you know it. But don’t worry, no one reads your work anyway.”
So I surrender. What’s the point? I’m not reading Platform today. (marketing book by Michael Hyatt) Forget that.
I gander at emails, blogs I subscribe to, and Facebook and Twitter feeds. All speaking loud about my struggle, how they struggle with approval too. How the lies hiss and stomp through their minds. Raising a racket. I rest. I am a writer. It’s just one of those days.
What critics are marching through your mind today? What words do they hiss? These negative critical Siskel and Ebert wanna be personas. This is your life not a motion picture. Tell them you never hired them, this is no union, and the strike is over.
Approving voices need only apply! They can start immediately.
14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalms 139:14 KJV
Here is your seal of approval. You like? Picture this the next time your inner, or outer, unwarranted critic gives their opinion?