In The Wall Around Your Heart Mary Demuth writes, “Sometimes we wrap God in the cloak of others, reasoning that we’re loving those people for God’s sake or bowing to their needs to build God’s glorious kingdom.”
Yet in doing so we can lose our identity in those relationships which allows those we have made idols access into our lives to abuse us.
We have to remember that no matter how much these people would ever approve of us their approval is not what we are meant to seek. In doing so we forfeit our own approval sometimes, and definitely count out the approval of God as the most important in our lives.
When we act like this as believers we are like beggars with a tin cup, sitting on streets of gold, begging for change. Yet, people will never be able to fill us as Jesus can. We will always come up empty. Their opinions change constantly. Only God is the same today as He always has been, and will continue to be. Only He can fill to overflowing.
I have battled much addiction in my life, but the hardest to let go of has been wanting the approval of others so desperately. All of us just want to be loved and accepted for who we are, but do we alter ourselves to get that?
I have literally lost myself in people at times. When they were happy I was happy. When they were angry I tried to fix it. When I failed I was miserable. The walls around my heart grew thicker, and I withdrew from everyone. At least until I could muster the strength to attempt to please them again. This codependent behavior is so ungodly, and so life draining. A vicious cycle that hardens our hearts. God wants us to depend on Him. He should be the source of our joy. He should be the source of our peace. The wind beneath our wings.
9 Remember the former things of old,
For I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like Me,
Isaiah 46:9 NKJV
Instead of losing our identity in others we should know who we are in Christ. In Him we already have what we have been seeking. For we are accepted in the Beloved. Our job is to believe on the One whom God has sent. This is how we honor Him.
In chapter three of The Walls Around Your Heart, more is written about how to “Hallow His Name.” I have never read the Lord’s prayer the same since I have begun to read this book. As she explains how to honor God she includes not making idols out of people or their opinions.
Beloved how are you losing your identity? Whose approval are you seeking? Your own disapproval of yourself can become an idol. We are to become new creatures in Christ, and gain His identity. Is it time you took another look at someone whom you are trying to win the approval of? Remember, there is none like He, and He already approves of you.