Now that I am grown there are many things I wish I knew back when, and so today I am joining the Faith Jam in writing a letter to my younger self.
Faith Jam is back on Thursdays and I will be joining the community hosted by Bonnie at Faithbarista.com as I am able.
I know you are scared to go to that dance alone, but it will be a cherished memory because you face that fear. I know that you are afraid of everything. I know that you are even questioning whether or not you can trust yourself. I know you are starving, and parched for love. I want you to know that I love you, and that someone loves you just the way you are. His name is Jesus. He is right there with you now. I know you don’t understand why your Daddy hurt you the way he did. It wasn’t your fault. I know you don’t know why your Mom can’t show you her love, and I know you don’t know why you try so hard, and just can’t measure up to everyone’s expectations. Even yours. I know you hate yourself. I know you are mourning great loss. But your Father in heaven, I know you don’t like the word father, but He loves you unconditionally. He doesn’t expect you to do everything right. He doesn’t require that you be perfect. He has known you before you were formed in the womb. He knew everything you would say, do, or think before He made you, and He still accepts you. He still has great plans for your life. You will meet Him this summer. No matter what anyone did, or anyone will do, those plans will prevail. When you feel like no one cares it is a lie. He does, and He is going to prove Himself faithful. It is going to take you the rest of your life to learn to trust Him. I promise you can though. I promise He will not let you down. You may not understand how He will come through. You may not understand why He let you go through what you did, or why He made you face what has happened to you. But, everything the devil meant for harm against you is going to be used for good. God is going to transform what the devil meant for evil and use it to accomplish good in the earth. Nothing you go through will be wasted. When Jesus calls your name in years to come, and says follow Me, go with Him! Then never give up, never give up, never give up. One day you will look back and see the reward of the wicked, and that you are blessed beyond your imagination. I am writing from having just finished many a path through a place called healing. I am not saying that I have obtained all the healing there is to receive, but I am in a place where God has said, take what I taught you in the dark and bring your light into the darkness of the world. Let your light shine. He and I are headed into the future. Healing involved confusion, extremely dark places, looking head on into the scary, and leaping over huge obstacles by taking His hand. It took longer than I expected, was full of twists and turns, led to many doors that were filled with ugly, and took me to places I never knew existed. Once I laid down everything I thought would fill the empty something extraordinary happened. I learned I can trust Him and He became my everything. If you remember anything let this be it. Trust Him and let Him protect you. He does a much better job than I ever could. Seek the Healer and not the healing. It is okay to tell him everything, and He will bring safe people into your life to help you along the way. Use your voice and tell them everything. You will use your voice one day to shout into the wilderness and make the paths straight for Jesus in the lives of others! Jesus is a Redeemer and you will be blown away by the transformation in your life. One day you will stop worrying about pleasing people. Then from there, love hard and maintain boundaries in your life as He shows you how to establish them. Forgive others every day because they can never repay you for what they have done. They needed Jesus too. Learn about the armor of God. Never leave home without it and the knowledge that you already please God. You are a beautiful and mighty woman of valor!
I love you,
P.S. Here are some words you will need from the book of wisdom found in the midst of many promises God left you in the Bible.
Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him, and He will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5 NIV